Life Does Not Stop

If I did learn anything from 2021 it’s that the world does not stop. Life does not stop. I lost my mother. I’d always now look back at 2021 as that year I stopped having a mother. She was the the only person I thought was invincible – indestructible. Not that I didn’t expect she’d die, everyone would die. But she died when….well. And that’s changed me forever. I actually thought the world stopped when I heard she died…I’ve lived every minute of the last few weeks thinking the world stopped or I got pranked. Yet the world does not stop. And I have had no choice but to go on with the world in spite of myself…

Someone told me a week or two after my mum died…that grief comes like sea tide…I’ve been blindsided at times by the suddeness of the grief at moments when I thought it’s ebbed. But that hasn’t made the world to stop. I have been into my head a lot of times too to conjure my mother and get her tell me what to do. One time I imagined she said I had no choice in how the world works. Maybe I agreed with my head play. Maybe I’d never be able to heal. But life never stops.

Rest in Peace, mother.